Bad Mommy #4

Ok, so if you read this post you know how I was feeling yesterday. It was not a great day. Thought that since I have been getting Savie up early all week to go to Sam's that I would let her sleep in since we didn't need to get out of the house until 10am. Maybe that was wrong. I slept in until almost 6:30 and she slept in until 7am. I even made a simple breakfast for us and let her play around until almost 8:30 before I said we needed to get dressed.
Today was a park day so I loaded up the toy box and cooler and headed for the park. She seemed to be fine and was talking up a storm in the backseat, and even at home before we left, but as soon as we got to the park she had nothing to say. to anyone. Not even her friends PJ and Hank. And that's all she was talking about the whole time at home, was playing with them. We weren't there more than 15 minutes before she had a minor meltdown. Now keep in mind that these are all kids that we see all the time. The only difference is two dads were there, neither of which I had ever met.

So after being at the park for a good hour and everyone is getting hungry and tired we decided we were going to go to the "hot dog place" for lunch. Savie was fine with this until she saw Hank drive off, then she was just a mess, wanting me to hurry up and go after them, then wanting pizza instead of hot dog's. I was ready for her to take a nap at that point but I was hungry to.

But lunch was good, she ate most of her food, talked with her friends and was happy until it was time to go (of course). But then, since it was still early and warm, I asked her if she wanted to stop and see K before we went home. Of course she did because that meant she could get into the pool and play with the puppies. We got to K's house, emptied the pool and refilled. She played in the water for 20 minutes. Then it was 20 minutes in the bathroom rinsing her off and trying to get her dressed again. It was the longest 20 minutes ever. Even leaving K's house to come home and start dinner was an ordeal. After crying for 5 minutes and watching 1 "Blue's Clues" she fell asleep on the couch. Thank goodness. I let her sleep until almost 5pm just to make sure that she had enough sleep.

Even getting dinner was a chore. I knew what I needed to make, fish and pasta, but it was really hard. Lots more crying and wanting to be picked up. Dinner was over and done with and all she had was half a PB&J and some crackers. I wanted to wash her hair tonight since she was in the pool and so were the dogs but just getting undressed was cause for more tears so I tried to put her to bed. Did it work???

No, she fell asleep on the couch crying at almost 10pm. Bad momma.

Suppernanny.... and other things

OMGoodness, that little girl stayed at the table until she fell asleep. I'm sorry but that's funny to me. That is something out of "Mommy Dearest", and 6 yr old that don't know how to wipe themselves?!?!? That is just ridiculous.

OK let me back up a little here. I love to watch Suppernanny, not because I think I really need but more for the whole 'seeing a car pulled over on the side of the road, Oh look honey I think they had a car accident-I wonder if anyone is hurt' as you drive on by kinda thing. I am not at all a perfect mother (see this post, this post oh just click on bad mommy, lol. ) but watching other parents with out of control kids doing things that just make me say "duh" is kinda a sick, funny thing for me. But I think I offended my friend J when I said something along of the lines of "well what do the parents expect from their kids when they are up jumping around and being crazy 10 minutes before it's bedtime." She got kinda quiet after I said that.

But the family tonight was going thru something that I don't know how to deal with yet but will need to soon. I only have one grandparent left so when she passes I will be heartbroken but I will have to find some way to deal and help Savie deal. It was a good episode with a lot of heartfelt moments.

I love you Supernanny.

Bad Mommy #3

Yes I've had another bad mommy moment. This time in public.


Savie and I go to the library every Tuesday and Thursday for story Hour is over and we've had the snack and juice and are ready to leave . Usually we get there just as it's starting but every now and then we get there early. Anyways by the time story hourSavie doesn't want to. She is playing with her friends, having fun, etc so leaving is usually a bit of a drama. I'm used to the crying, yelling etc that comes with us being the first ones to leave. This past Tuesday was no different. We left, after saying good-bye to everyone and "we'll see you at the hot dog place". We took the stairs (my is trying to get healthy) and she is still crying. I kept walking, not far but enough. I walked to the bottom of the stairs and waited for her to keep walking. The entire time she is crying "I don't wanna, mommy". I stood there and waited for her keep walking, a couple walks by us and smiles.

"A little upset is she?"

"Nope just having a morning meltdown." and a smile.

She is slowly walking down the steps, has managed 3 steps by now, and wants me to come get her. Not going to happen. Then she does the craziest thing. She sticks her head under the railing!!!!!!! OMGoodness. I calmly walk back up the stairs and try to get her head out as another woman comes out and gives me 'the look'. Do I freak out? Get upset? Nope I just tell her to take 2 steps back up the stairs so we can get her head out. Yep that was a prize winning moment for me.

Am I a Bad Mother??

I have never been a very 'touchy feely' person. I am not big on hugs, kisses, PDA, stuff like that. (makes you wonder just how it is that I got pregnant in the first place, huh?) Sitting on an airplane/bus/ movie theater is to close. I have a tendency to lean away from people, I sit across from people when we sit down to eat. I just don't like to be that close to people, don't ask me why. It's almost cat-like, meaning that it has to be on my terms (all you cat owners know that's true, lol)

Hubby understands this and deals with it while Savie on the other hand doesn't understand it. She is always rubbing my arm, trying to sit in my lap, hugging my leg, etc and it. bugs. me. I am mean really bugs me. I can't sit next to her on the couch. She has to sit on the other end, it's not a big couch in my defense.

Does this make me a bad mother? Is my child going to remember that I wouldn't let her sit next to me on the couch? That every time she tried to hug me I pushed her away?

Bad Mommy #2........redeemed

Like I said in my last "Bad Mommy" post I had a bad moment. Savie's favorite baby doll was left at the library. Over the holiday weekend. Alone. (hanging head in shame) But come Tuesday morning we were at the library promptly at 10 am when they opened and went straight to where I thought Savie had left her BeBe. But wait, there was someone else there. Her other baby doll. Her second baby. Do you think my child was happy? She screamed so loud in a near empty library that I was scared.....for a minute. But is well now that both baby dolls are safe and sound.......at the bottom of the toy box.

Bad Mommy #2

I think this is going to be a new thing for me.To write out every "bad mommy" experience I have just to make myself feel better (that didn't sound right did it?). If I can get it out of my head maybe I won't feel so bad about it.

So here's the new one. Savie has a baby dolls. One we got almost 2 years ago from a really great lady here in town. Her family does this thing where they buy presents for other people and then have to give it away. It was really nice at Christmas when she got it. Savie named her BeBe, mostly because I think she was trying to say baby but that's as close as she could get. She takes her everywhere, sleeps with it, take her potty, undresses her, everything. She's been to California, the library, and Mexico (didn't anything for that one). I love BeBe, she is a great little baby doll, she sits patiently and listen to Savie when she reads her books. I know what she loves her as much as she does. BeBe looks like her. Simple as that. BeBe is one of the first black baby dolls that I've seen that actually looks right. Not just the dark skin, or the "afro" styled hair with the Kente cloth clothes but she really looks like my daughter. They have the same cute little nose and big beautiful eyes.

And I miss her.

But not as much as Savie.

I being the "Bad Mommy" that I am, I left BeBe at the library on Saturday. Alone. By herself. Without Savie.

Savie noticed this yesterday and hasn't really let it go. I can't get to her until Tuesday and you can bet we will be there as soon as they open the doors to get BeBe. This is breaking my heart, she looks so sad and sulky and close to tears.

I am a Bad Mommy.

**** Edited*****
this is a picture of the two of them, don't they look so happy?

Bad Mommy night

tha's right that's what I said. Tonight I was a 'bad mommy'. Dinner-leftovers or maybe some fruit. Did we take a shower-just barely. But we did brush our teeth, with a fight. And bedtime??? Oh that's where the bad mommy part comes in. She went to bed at 10.....pm... All together now...."BAD MOMMY" !!!!!!!